Author: Brett Evans

Brett Evans attempted to attend as many schools as the Barbara Streisand character in What's Up, Doc? but only made it to these: Saint Louis King of France, Brother Martin High School, LSU, [worked at Tulane], The University of Alabama, University of Michigan [hanger-onner], and Drexel University. Poems appear in Ernie K-Doe: The R&B Emperor of New Orleans and the Fell Swoop Magazine. Recent books include I LOVE THIS AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE (Trembling Pillow) and The T. Rex Parade and Keats Is Not The Problem (with Chris Shipman, Lavender Ink) . See him read poems to flowers on IG [brettevans429].

He lives on the lee of the Bayou St. John levee in New Orleans, LA.

GS 3

Ayahuasca mascara &

after Viviane Houle

                    Arabi-Cola frizz around the fountain into the blue room
what’s left of it – down the matte path they are shooting
skeet with what’s left of the cupcakes
     the factory brawl where they came from
     our dreams and what they were doing
Two Worlds colluded      but then couldn’t any more

                    Scored flag and where mangos behaved
     to defuse the warsong they ran on us
Please we have trees
to get back to
     we’ll never turn into puppets
     whither we walk under or not

              Where the sun shines for the first time
   a new kind of trumpet mute is needed
we had to be hollow
            to let the sound go through
            it was for the birds
     a time to perch high above
    the flag wrack loom

            Watch how we get liminal in the Nash
          Rambler back seat – off to another evac
              everfrisson-ing between ape and angel
              agape in the grass
             some violet wrappers and a match

              telepathic bananas stage sweat
              cliff dweller ayahuasca mascara
                 spirit bump regal submarine
              rain bomb rainbow static
                 we’re not done yet

                 playing in the shallows
                 Ouija’ing the end time thrills

                       Let’s read the riot act
                       to the birds and the bees
                 and make out like it’s still

                       creational frizz
                 in finest fundament almost quaint
                 with the places go the faces
We have a lot of butterflies thanks to you
I don’t know how to leave the garden

       Say yum to that           tough little muffin
           pocket smuggled chandelier
             spinning round      let’s why not call it dance

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from Versus Verses


Suicidal ideation vs. reaper madness
the koan vs. the koala
the Koran vs. Klan Porn
up in smoke v. poofters
the hoagie v. the po-boy
the line-break v. the bread line
Rosa Parks vs. Naked Eyes
camisole vs. ripaway jersey
Friend of the Animals vs. Boner of Men
reef chameleon v. loan shark
the peach vs. the pendulum
maintenance spanking vs. Hamgate
fire sign vs. fire sale
end game v. booty call
Victoria Secrets v. Pterodactyl Nights


Blue Plate v. Ville Platte
Phantom menace v. phantom man-ass
Mayonnaise v. Oughtists
Pablo’s blue period vs. Kind of
Dead Man’s faves v. Disposable historical marker series
Anti-Underdog v. ragtime superfan
The Nudes v. the blueprints
flood car v. regatta culo
red white & blue v. black & blue
Green Ash v. Snoball
Mid-City Bureau Chief v. Apollo + Heidi
Face Transplant Surgery v. tweeting
(See My) loft space v. My luftwaffen or yours


overtopping of levees vs. muffin top
tattoo parlor vs. flavors of ice cream
Hansel + Gretel v. Mary Jane detritus in the vacuum bag
perf art v. a rural silence
# playing house vs. nerf out over the graves


Black History Month v. National Truck Month
encore azaleas v. funny people big feet
Nemesisterhood v. Mothership
dumpsters-in-law v. State Attorneys General
Excessive permeability v. taut A-hole @ PowerPoint
Regency England v. Late century pain relief
Alexandria v. Easybake Oven
Burqha the mermaid v. Egypt, these hips don’t lie
Detroit, I do mind v. dying
Monster Truck Apology v. Gorilla ran off w/ my antibiotics
Run for your life v. Goodbye, Ben Gazarra
syllabi v. alibi
Sexy v. Styxy
underwater mortgages v. bathtub gin


hamburger helper vs. hangover helper
prom dress v. arctic garb
chunk of change vs. cheese of the day
sissy bounce v. Sisyphus rox
roots I would stew v. Liverpuldians you wd [do]
Safety dance v. safety word
Cocoa-koala v. cacao
Xtreme mathletes vs. methletes
Robert Frost v. Robert Plant
Feist v. fist
drooping onion v. blooming undies
the bed is my table v. Vatican Monologues
Pret-a-porter v. Wereyat
ool v. luh
jailed elf v. free radical


leatherhead vs. feather-fig aegis
hibiscus vs. hillbilly-face
rank insubordination v. eye-hydra coordination
7 Minutes in Heaven vs. Next Friday Night
Ivory blouse w/ black accents by Louis vs. Sweetheart neckline by Puritan Forever Young
Chinese purple v. Egyptian blue
waning moon in Yemen v. Brazilian waxing in Kenner
Pretty titties v. The Soloist
precog v. pre-cops
To Empower as Jesus Did v. The Hare Krishna Character Type
Deer neckline by Girly v. Yellow mini dress by Do & Be
Epicurean Ethics: How Memory Shapes Narratives: Katastematic Hedoism A Philosophical
        Essay on v. Redeeming the Past
Flat and Fucked 4 vs. Tori Black’s Afterschool Special
Gordian knot v. lake lacquer layers
Sacred geography v. salute the stalks
Nacho Vidal, Sexual Messiah vs. Pound it


Homesome v. Hommaged
Honest-ish vs. Honey-good-gracious
Hoolybuss v. Hurling weather
Revenge of the Petites vs. Busty Invaders from Mars
milkness v. perqueef
Hud vs. Hoff
Pink slime v. Red Dawn
Pink slime vs. foraminiferal ooze
Pink slime v. Japanese ghost ship
Pink slime vs. adversary identity
Pink slime v. That’s not hangover music, dude
Pink slime vs. The Shining Path
Pink slime v. The Golden Rule
Banana peel vs. pink slip
Free Sean Payton v. Free Willy 2
Obigation of Restoration of a Stolen Thing vs. Extent of Vendor’s Privilege
Sunny Leone Goddess v. Occupy My Ass
Co-workers Gone Bad vs. Trouble at the Slumber Party
Hog-over-high v. Isle of Wight
Chemotherapy vs. Bjork
Let’s fuck v. Let’s walk
Riding the Flying Pig vs. Hello, Good Night


Huckapoo blouse v. Wal-Mart watermelon
Heart of my heart vs. Mark of my market
the planet Venus v. another plane
Swing States vs. another wha in the brick-in
Black Panther vs. rad vampire
tow-headed boys v. red-ended girls
Southern Man v. Stunt Woman
Tank Man vs. Nastia Lukin
Roe v. Wading Pool
Amber waves of v. America the Brutal
Triple header vs. Triple shitter
bow tie pasta v. botox/notox rasta
outlaws v. inlaws
Diary on bed vs. Heads on the wall
special interests v. special sauce
Under the Crescent City Connection v. 20 cc’s
Narc-flavored shag vs. Poetry contracts
B-bomb Iran via Iraq vs. Badabing
apres-ski v. avalanche
Live Act vs. love tap
Secrete vs. serviced


                    {TAB MY TABLOID}

Boarding pass v. toy gato
TSA v. TS El
Shining the Flying Pink Path 9 vs. Thai Air Belles 11
Sirhan Sirhan vs. Duran Duran
Anapest v. Budapest
Cupid v. possession arrow
aubergine vs. Audie Cornish
tab v. pibb
McRib vs. McGovern
mile high club v. billy club
burner phone v. parts per million
Elvis Costello v. Elvis Grbac v. Elvis Polanski
round robin tournament at Shamrock’s vs. odd, no, for a shamrock to be possessive?
three coins in the fountain vs. 3 ass-cheeks
codex rock vs. rallies round the Joan of Arc statue
Squalid as I am,
from almost the moment we travel [,] I always manage
                                                             to meet people
                                                                [hic- cup]
                                                             pick people up