taken out of me (we do not speak of those scars)

Post-birth, what blood-shades are revealed
under surgical light?

What splatter-push patterns are left
on the floor?

Which cleaning products are specific
to the aftermath of gashes not made with scalpels?

Skin is such a marvel, and yet so quiet to split
in contrast to the sucking release I remember,

how my navel sank in my chin-chest tunnel vision
and I thought thank god that’s done

before I begged for blankets, caught up in cold
I could not surmount, though I shook,

though my shoulders were held down by faceless nurses,
my legs splayed with stitches inlaid, and I wondered

if the last I would see
were these green-masked ghouls

and not the baby
I was never sure I wanted.

The air in the room at dawn
was just as frigid

when rubber hands removed yards
of red-stained white, and every yank

brought tears of disbelief:
how much more

can you possibly take
out of me?


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